sincerely,

I want to do things I've always wanted to do.
So I would.

I cannot find myself leaving everything behind,
its so long ago, but its still in me.

If you're trying to change yourself, how can you be yourself?
Timely paradox.

And why does change take so long to come.

What if we all disappeared and then what?

I figured we'll always be the same.
Even if you say you've changed, you're just resisting who you are in the first place.
When you're tired, it'll all go to waste.
I make sense, so figure it out.

My mind annoys me very much.

I hate to be like this, but it happens every month, deal with it.



That aside,
My momma bought season 2 and 3 of Grey's anatomy. YAHOO.
Plus, we're gonna watch the Lexus cup tomorrow, :D

Today, i went out with Mabel, Melanie, Beatrice, Charite and Germaine.
It was quite fun. yepz. we watched the messenger. It was a little scary. thats all.

I went home, and the lifts weren't working. So i took 8 storeys up the stairs by myself in the dark. How terrifying, only I wasn't really scared.

I'm really sorry i sound so cynical today. try tomorrow or something.

I've not blogged!
On thursday, it was a great day.
It started being great after I made the caramel frapps. (cause I remember how to make them)
Well, when my shift ended, I went out to call ARLENE!
IT WAS HER BIRTHDAYY! :)
she was at Escape. (but why am I telling you?)
Anyway, i miss Arlene, and I want to meet her after my Japan trip. :)
After the call, I went back to reading one chapter of wuthering heights (yes,I know) because olivia bet that I couldnt read a chapter finish. but I did, so she lost. Then I feel alittle bad, cause one of the starbucks partner was being friendly to me, but I was totally unfriendly cause I was reading my book.
Later, there was this PUZZLE that Fadzil gave Olivia, who gave me.
It took me extremely long to solve it, but I solved it, I take pride in it, but it didn't make me feel very smart.
Ok. overall, it was a fun day, Everyone was being nice to me.
(I'm lazy to go on into details)

Today, I had the best lunch ever (ok, not exactly, but itwas so yummy)
Then I bought season 1 of greys anatomy.
Went home, watched greys anatomy with my mum, until we're left with two more episodes.
I love that show, i love that show!

Going to go out with my tennis friends tomorrow! Although I am sad that I can't go to watch the Lexus golf thing with my family. ok, but well, its already arranged, and either ways, I'll hve fun. so. YEAH.

sleepsleep (huh)

I don't know what to talk about.
Oh, after really long, I finally developed my pictures. I am going to try one more roll and get good pictures before giving up. (cause this time, i overlooked the focus knob)
Yes, or maybe i won't even give up! :)
YEAH, thats it.

I'm going to use the DSLR very soon.
Update soon with nice pictures!

AND,
my job is fun.

UNFAIR.

HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO CLOSE THE WINDOWS WHEN I AM USING THE TOILET. THEN YOU TAKE EVERYTHING OUT ON ME ONLY. IT WAS THE WINDOWS IN ANOTHER ROOM THAT WAS OPENED WASN'T IT. AREN'T YOU BEING EXTREMELY UNFAIR? ITS NOT MY FAULT I WAS IN THE TOILET WHEN IT STARTED TO RAIN. I CAN'T CONTROL THE WEATHER OR MY STOMACH. I DON'T THINK I DID ANYTHING WRONG TO DESERVE A SHOUTING. AND THE WINDOWS IN THE ROOM I WAS IN WAS CLOSED FROM THE START.

My sister got a Violin today!
It's not the lousy kind, It's made in Germany. And it costs $3000!!!

Anw, i had a very delicious dinner today, at Lei Garden!
Yummy yum yum!

Ok, since i don't have much to blog about since i woke up at 1:30pm, I'm gonna post another picture of my toenails. To prove that they are RED AND BLUE, not RED AND WHITE.
Haha!

(please just look at the color, and not my toes, cause i think they are quite unsightly)

Olivia, sorry for just now!
Although we're already over it.




I think its sympathy i don't want.
How about you?
Do we care when we're being made use of?
I won't.
They'll realize it someday right?

toenailss

I Have so many conversations now.
MUMMY! MY TOENAILS NICE? :D
Mummy: HORRIBLE!!
):
Mummy: But I like to paint like that last time. I did red,pink, red,pink,

Elaine and Kayla gave me the nail polish.
I'm tired now, I just came back from training!
But I wont sleep too soon.

Oh yeah, olivia and I had sushi for lunch. :D
I was gonna fall asleep during SB training.
I don't know what else to blog about so bye.

"Pless Pray" (press play)

HAPPY BIRTHDAYYY!

this is what olivia and I talk about on msn.
I am going to try to stop quarreling with her.
Vivie・・ \ says:
YES DARLING, DEAREST PLEASE TELL THE TRUTH.
Olivia ♡ says:
why you call me darling.
Olivia ♡ says:
DON'T CALL ME DARLING.
Olivia ♡ says:
VJSKMDSS,V.C/
Vivie・・ \ says:
OK, I CALL YOU KOJI. FROM LAST TIME.
Olivia ♡ says:
..
Olivia ♡ says:
I is no fish.
Vivie・・ \ says:
NOT KOI LAH
Vivie・・ \ says:
KOJI
Olivia ♡ says:
SAME THING.
Olivia ♡ says:
IN NEOPETS, IT'S KOJI
Vivie・・ \ says:
whatever, we're not on neopet.s
Olivia ♡ says:
SAME.
Vivie・・ \ says:
Different
Vivie・・ \ says:
KOI is spelt without a J and KOJI is spelt with a J
Olivia ♡ says:
KOJI/
Vivie・・ \ says:
huh?
Olivia ♡ says:
NVM

The sleepover last night was REALLY REALLY FUN!
I am going to post one video and lots of pictures when KAYLA gives me the pictures.
My computer had problems reading her SD card,. so oh-well.
Anyway, I tell everyone to go read Olivia's MSN personal message. It is the most touching thing i've ever heard. And on my birthday!

Thank you Elaine and kayla and olivia for the nice things you gave me. :)
And thank you melanie in advance for something that's in my mailbox.
:D and everyone else that wished me, even though i don't really play a significant part in your lives.
And thank you papa and mummy, i really love you(s).
HAPPY SWEET SIXTEENTH MY LOVELY SISTER RACHEL!
THANK YOU FOR THE LATE NIGHTS WE SPENT STUDYING/ TALKING TO EACH OTHER.
YOU WERE NEVER A DISTRACTION, ONLY A SOURCE OF ENCOURAGEMENT, AND I LOVE YOU , AND I TREASURE YOU VERY VERY MUCH!

I also want to say, i love my brother.
He is really nice to me.
He asked me what i wanted to buy for my birthday (but i dont have anything, so sadly.)
And he is buying our cake for us, and he talked to me in a really sweet tone just now when i told him what flavour would be good. and i really feel happy when he did that. And i really sound crazy now. sorry.

A-SU-TA-RA-BI-SU-TA-BA-E-BE!

I'm re-watching HANA KIMI.
I'm so bored at home.
My mum treated me to dim sum today
I feel so blessed because when i woke up, i felt like eating dim sum, and one hour later, I AM EATING DIM SUM!
well so anyway.
I just wanted to talk about DIMSUM.


I dont want to ruin us because of a job.

Tralala.

OKAY.
Looking at my list, I feel so unaccomplished.
I feel so un-freed.
I feel like there is this knot inside of me.
I feel so un-relaxed.
Such a huge feeling, yet i can't put a finger to it.

So I'm going to try to get away from negatives, and do alittle positive exercise. I am going to write 10 reasons why i should be happy.

Ten reasons why i should be happy/relieved
1. O levels are over
2. I found a nice job.
3. I can go out with my friends
4. I can spend time doing things i wanted to do before o levels
5. I am going to Japan
6. My birthday is coming
7. I can forget about studying-for awhile
8. I can look forward to things
9. I can have time to draw
10. I can take photographs

Then while doing this list, i get it, why I'm so upset.
i typed it out, but i deleted it off, cause I'm being too ungrateful.
ok.
I'm tired.
People write songs when they are exhausted right?
So I'm gonna write one. NOW.

STOP ITTT.

My fetish for Wuthering heights died exactly at its page ninety-four.
I pity the state of that.
But I'll make sure it gets striked off. (did you notice the to-do list?)
So, I'm going to watch another episode of Code Blue.
It's a doctor show.
I'm throwing a sleepover next wednesday with Elaine, Kayla and Olivia!
I'm more than excited for it. :)

I can't wait for training tomorrow.
I hope it doesnt go over time or something- or i'll be late for my Japanese Lesson.
Which reminds me that I've not finished revising.

Anw, tsk. I'm irritated.

The other day
(car drives past
:Like that guy doesnt look like a big shot in his working clothes
papa: really? but he is..
: huh, serious? But he don't look like one.
papa: Yeah, he is. He is big and short.
: hahaha!
(he wasn't really bigg and shorttt.)

Olevels are over. (I'm going to repeat this in my many blog posts. :D )
I'm something like broke. Cause i bought some clothes. hee.
But we need clothes during holidays right? Right.
i have not developed my roll of film yet.
It's been like quite awhile already. Will it spoil? I'm afraid that it'll spoil.

Starbucks is really fun.
Really!
Whatever it is, please buy coffee from us. (olivia/I) When we are in-store. (or not. As long as you help our store increase sales, we'll be really grateful)
Ok, I'm still feeling all messed up and un-organized.
I still want to take photos at the place near ACRES.
It's such a reserved place. I took used my holga to get pictures there, but guess what. I forgot to cover the red thingy. So my film was exposed with red rectangles. haha, so stupid.
OKAY.
I'm tired, let me get some sleep. BYE.

No.more.studying.

I'm a little late on blogging about this, but, MY O LEVELS ARE OVER!
happy birthday momma!(american accent. As heard from kayla. Oh mama, i am talking about her again! haha; cue to freak out!)
Well anyway, Olivia, Elaine and I went to Kayla's house around 4:30 (cause i lost my way, cause I was knitting in the bus, and i missed my stop) to bakey bake cookies/brownies. It was fun. I'm so amazed by Kayla's house. Its so special. It has lots of cool things. (not that my house don't)
I'm excited. I can do so many things now.
But I feel everything is so disorientated now. Like I want to do so many things at a go, my mind can just explode anytime.
Well, tomorrow, Olivia and I have a pre-training module. at our JOB PLACE :D yey, it's a secret, and you don't know where it is!
Ohyeah, my phy/chem paper was so far away in the early hours of the day that i forgot to say HOW WELL I DID IT. I got 35or 36/ 40! (clapclapclap) Mrs pillai asked me how was the paper, so I asked if she wanted to check it. and i think i got 2 or 3 wrong. While checking, Mr Chua kept peeking over. So anyway, when I was done, I asked him to check my physics part. and i got TWO wrong.
My studyingmethod works. Sadly, o levels are over, and it is no longer valid for use.
(I plan when i want to study. like i said I'll freak out at 10pm; and i did)

okay. we took nice pictures. I'll post them when I get them from kayla.
That's in a weeks time. When my birthday comes. When kayla,elaine and Olivia sleeps over!
We're gonna do fun stuff. See if we can work later on that day or something! :)
OKAY. off, off, off.

PS: I love my rabbit. she's so soft and cute. and cuddly. AHH. I don't understand how i could have overlooked this for 2 years.

Setting aside that,
I'm done learning Kayla's song. Its a nice song.
I just have to tweak it a little more.
Its by MCR. Not anything anyone could imagine me singing.
I got her something. I miss Kayla. I have not had a friend who i used to hate, (and gradually, year by year, got on better terms.) and finally, here we are, GOOD FRIENDS, for one whole year. And well, she's leaving. and I'll miss her. She's always my partner when we get into register order. Well, I hope my papa will let me send her off even though her flight timing is in the very unsafe hours of morning.
Well, tomorrow tomorrow is our Phy/chem P1. Its our last paper. No more olevels, no more kayla in front of me. No more combined science. No more school. No more many things. I am going to bring my camera, and for the sake of memories, I HOPE IT IS REALLY SUNNY.
And I still want to lie in the middle of the field or parade ground; on the last day, and just take in the melancholy of it all.
Is it me or is this so gloomy? It is.
On the brighter side of things,
We're liberated!
Olivia and I got a job at starbucks! yey, We're so efficient. If you do not believe, go try and get a job at your desired starbucks. See if its so easy. (well, it was for us)
I'm excited. I can make aromatic coffee for my dad soon. Yey.
And imagine making so many coffee-lovers' day. The pure joy of taking a sip off their Mocha latte, decaf; from a pretty little starbucks mug. GREAT.
Then it'll be Japan,Japan,Japan soon!
I'm going to take award-winning photos. (yeah right..)

Now its STUDY.
Olivia is coming over tomorrow.
Cause I'm a good girl, and I choose not to study outside, and spend money on foood.

Talking about spending money,
Rachel and I bought boootts today!
It was such a good deal. Cause they're so PRETTY.
I can't wait to get them.

BYEBYE.

Bunny!

Rabbits are crepuscular right?
I wonder what it's like for my friend to just run around a confined area in the dark.
Imagine we live our day in darkness, and our night in light. Wouldn't it be strange?
Tonight, I had the urge to leave the lights on for Princess, but i didn't.
(I want to put a picture up, but I'm too lazy to get the camera, so tomorrow,perhaps)

P.S: This is a queer blog post, just ignore it.

Boredom.

Its sooner than expected, but I'm already going insane over scrapbooking stuff.
(And I have not even started working yet)
Wuthering Heights, Wuthering Heights, Wuthering Heights.
That's all i am doing now.
Wuthering Heights at night, Sleep, Wake Up, Eat, Wuthering Heights in the morning on the bed, doze off accidentally, Wake up, Wuthering Heights after 'nap'.
This is somewhat a sneak preview to my after-examinations life, and I am not so exhilarated one bit about it.
I'm gonna take up my phy/chem notes once i get home later. Then maybe I'll find some excitement for the exams to be over! Otherwise, it's back to Wuthering Heights again.
And believe it, I'm only on Pg88. The print is so small, you'll go blind if you don't take myopic precautions!

I need my fix of scrapbooking or something. I am looking forward to my Japan trip, and yet, I wish it won't come so soon, so I have time to finish the following:
1. Earn some $
2. Be abit better in my photography
3. Knit/crochet a scarf for myself
4. Revive my Fuji instax; just for fun. (its my first 'nonsense' camera, afterall)
5. Start revising my Japanese. /:

I'm quite contented with our D100 camera, so I think I might not buy a new camera, this doesn't mean that I don't have enough money, cause I know i do. My math is not that bad, and I take poa, so i can calculate my financial abilities. (why, i am not sounding defensive am i?)


"My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary."
I cannot get over Catherine's insensibility. SO SELFISH. (reading the quote won't help you to understand the story, so go read itt.)

DOLL.

I decided to spread some joy to you guys, since i do get some joy out of this picture.
1. Embrace the Doll without a body
2. Kiss the doll without a body
3. Laugh at the doll without a body
4. Scream, cause the doll doesnt have a body

Sorry, you again, do not understand my complex mind. (Haha, just kidding, don't get offended.)


credits to picture: Olivia's camera; Elaine; Denise's doll; Vivien

FT ISLAND WAS IN SINGAPORE YESTERDAY! (or is?) ):<
i am so annoyed right now.
Hongkiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
i bet all their hardcore fans kept it low-profile so they can have FT island to themselves.
whatever, i don't care, i am an upright person, and i shall only read classic novels. (lol)

For relieving-myself-from-stress purposes, i am going to blog a list of things i want to do, after the exams.

1. Work for money (haha, i almost said: work for reward, reward for work.)
2. Paint a collection of canvases.
3. Japanese/korean drama marathon @ my house with Olivia, Elaine and Kayla!
4. Finish reading as many classics as possible!
5. Listen to my new YUI/NEWS Cds.
6. Compose a song. (and successfully sing it to kayla. what a stupid pact we made. i regret.)
7. Win my evil holga.
8. Tennis. TENNIS.
9. Outing with my tennis friends :D
10. Give Kayla a heart-warming farewell (TO AMERICA ): )
11. Photography.
12. Play under the rain. I've always wanted to do that. ALWAYS.
13. Study my Japanese, and prepare for the exam.
14. Fill up my stupid empty sketchbook.
15. Wait impatiently for results.

update!update!
I'm sick of studying!
There is one more last serious paper!
So i told myself, i'm going to study it once and for all after a shorty little blog post. Hurray to the girl who realizes this!
I'm very sorry if you cannot understand me these few days. My mind, its a little wonked.
So anyway, after a few approvals, I am going to spend my secret stash of money on a new Nikon DSLR. You all think i'm so poor, but i have been secretly saving up. Muahaha, be afraid. Well, ok, not really, I'm going to work after exams, so if i add that to my savings, then it'll be enough.
And i finally figured out why my holga pictures are so ugly! everybody, lets give me three cheers! Well, it'll all be figured out by my Japan trip. Then I can take with both my DSLR and holga. But of course the former will come first.
Okay, i still have like a gazillion chapters so, SEE YA.
Oh yeahh, i also caught up with Su Yen via email. yey. I hope she comes to singapore soon. Then i can meety-meet her.
My new plan is that if i cannot get into NJC because of its ridiculously low cut-off, i am going to either go to Lasalle or TP. I am more keen on TP though. I'm gonna take Visual com, and opt for the photography option. Right on! then its like completely no worries, cause i think its quite easy to get in. (don't laugh if i suddenly cant get in)
"STUDY VIVIEN. "
okay, i'll study.
i took a cute video of my brother.
speaking of which,
HAPPY HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY NICKY WICKY,
you are 18 in three or four hours time, and guess what?
closer to the ARMY.
I've decided to watch the video when you're gone ),:
I miss you, in advance!
LOVE YOU.
(insert picture of vivien and her brother here)

I DONT HAVE A COPY RIGHT NOW, SO JUST WAIT.

oh yey, i'm almost sixteen. :) its kinda cool if you can celebrate it with your sister. (: